BaffledExperts by Adam Norman

13: How to train

When you first start training on the ground, you will likely lose quite often. That is, of course, to be expected. You might, however, put yourself in very real danger by trying too hard. Especially fighting another newcomer, you will run the risk of injury as you try to escape from losing positions. You should...

Principle 9: Tap early and tap often

There is no point in waiting until an armlock is applied. Tap as soon as you know you cannot escape. This principle has a corollary:

Principle 9.1: Never, ever, let someone finish a fight

If your opponent looks like he is able to straighten your arm, choke you out, or bend something in a way it doesn’t bend: tap. Tap right away. In fact, yell and tap. Do not try to escape, and for the gods’ sake, do not let your muscles slacken. My elbows hurt all the time now, even though I always, always tap early and tap often. Over time, only the strain of having your arm pulled is enough to cause damage. Take it from me.

The rules
In judo, you can only submit your opponent in four ways:

1. A choke
2. A strangle
3. An arm bar
4. Exhaustion

While we call almost every technique applied to the neck a 'choke', properly speaking, chokes restrict breathing. Strangles reduce the blood flow to the brain. Most of our best techniques are strangles, and strangles are, in my mind, to be prized. While any kind of choke or strangle looks quite brutal (people being choked seem to involuntarily squint their faces and tense their necks, perhaps to relieve the pressure), strangles are actually nearly painless. Further, judoka very rarely get knocked unconscious. We almost always tap.

Our arm bars are said to only be applied to the elbow. This is supposedly for safety--though it has never been clear to me how an elbow lock is safer than a shoulder lock, as the elbow is small and subject to much power, lying as it does at the middle of two levers (your forearm and upper arm). In contrast, the shoulder is big, rotates freely, and is surrounded by lots of muscle. At any rate, this belief that we only apply elbow locks is also a lie; at least one of the ’elbow’ locks is really a shoulder lock and everybody knows it. We call it an elbow lock out of deference to Kano, judo’s founder, who could not, apparently, have been wrong.

Exhaustion submissions are fairly common. Because we train so little on the ground, beginners find it absolutely brutal.

Principle 10: Take it easy

Newaza is absolutely exhausting. You often need to expend huge amounts of energy lifting a heavy person in a bad direction at the very time you are least able to breathe. It hurts in all the wrong ways. Newcomers only ever last a few minutes on the ground. Veterans can sometimes last for twenty minutes. Sometimes.

If you get tired, go ahead and stop. I’ve seen absolute monsters of men barf from training too hard. The more experienced fighters aren’t in any better shape (take it from me), and training more isn't likely to improve your cardio very efficiently (try interval training instead). Experienced fighters simply know that a fight offers a few chances  to rest, and we take those very brief opportunities. At the beginning of a fight, for instance, a new fighter will take a grip and use all kinds of muscle to push and pull. A more experienced fighter will take a grip and wait, resting most of his body, until he explodes into a push or pull.

The difference is very small--maybe only a second or two of extra exertion. The seconds add up, though, over the course of a fight. Good fighters rest as much and as often as possible, often alternating between 100% anaerobic, brain-sparking, muscle-igniting strain and something close to rest.

Of course, it takes experience to know when you are safe to take a break. I will try to help with that knowledge over the course of this chapter.

What you can’t do

• Judo excludes notable submissions that remain in other arts:
• Neck cranks
• Wrist and finger locks
• Leg, ankle, or knee locks
• Muscle and trunk crushes

Again, supposedly these are unsafe; perhaps this supposition is better founded.

There are also a few things you should not do, even though they are legal. You should hardly ever go fast on the ground. There are only a few moves in which you need to build momentum to sweep or roll your opponent, and these moves are unreliable.

Submissions never require speed or surprise. A good submission is built up from a position or hold, and the actual submission comes last, once your opponent is immobilized. You and your opponent will know it is inevitable. There is no need to rush, and doing so is dangerous.

Think like a spider. Immobilize your opponent first, and only then destroy him.

If you spring into a submission, you run the risk of damaging your opponent. It’s happened to me, and I’ve probably done it (I imagine that I’m like most people: I remember what has been done to me better than I remember what I’ve done). Go slowly. Never treat your opponent like a stranger. Arm bars are particularly dangerous, as they are very difficult to defend. As you apply your first arm bar, go slower than you think you need to. Then go half the speed of that. Then go half the speed again. I mean it--most beginners think they’re going slowly when they are in fact hurtling towards an ass kicking on credit.

Try this right now: straighten your right arm in front of you, palm up. Take your left hand and grab your right palm with your left-hand fingers on top and your left thumb beneath. Using only the strength of your left hand and the leverage afforded by your fingers with your thumb as the fulcrum, straighten your right arm. If you are like me, you can make your right elbow hurt with only your fingers and your thumb. And, if you are like me, pain and dislocation are a fraction of an inch away from feeling pretty good.

Of course, no arm locks are done with the fingers; they all are done with rigid fulcrums (like the pelvis) using the full leverage the opponent's forearm provides. Imagine what damage is possible in a position like this:

Or better yet, imagine what the poor sap in that x-ray feels like.

Please, go slow. Go very, very slow. If you are tempted to go fast, remember that a dislocation can result in loss of the arm--’loss’ meaning amputation.

There are other things that just aren’t done; one does not stand in a grappling fight. I’m not sure what the rationale is, but in a competition doing so restarts both fighters on their feet. If, then, you wish to stay on the ground, you will need to ensure your opponent cannot leave.

Also, interestingly, while it is perfectly acceptable to grind an opponent’s tender spots (not testes or tits, thanks) with an elbow, knee, or knuckles, it is considered exceedingly poor form to pinch with one’s fingers in a ’horse bite’, to strike, to pull on ears or noses, or to manhandle the face below the eyebrows and above the lower lip. Finally, while it is fine to smother one’s opponent with one’s own belly or gi, it is poor form to smother her face with one’s hand.