BaffledExperts by Adam Norman

9: An interlude on breakfalls

It’s not very fun to start a book on fighting with a section on breakfalls. That’s like starting a book on sex with a section on condoms. Still, like condoms, breakfalls are important. Like condoms, they protect you from getting hurt or killed. And unlike condoms, breakfalls don’t take any of the fun out of rolling around.

There are four breakfalls: forward falling, forward rolling, sideways, and back.

Forward falling:
Spread your legs out. Fall forward. Before you reach the ground, put your hands in front of your face and turn your head. Don’t land on your hands, though; land on your wrists. Try to keep everything other than your forearms and feet off the ground.

I’ve only done this breakfall in real life once: when I slipped pumping water in a mountain stream. Nobody even pushed me. It’s utterly useless.

Forward rolling:
This breakfall is beautiful. Put your right foot forward. Make a T with your left hand forming the vertical stroke and your right hand forming the horizontal one. Lower your right hand until it is beside your right foot. Raise your left leg and roll over your right shoulder. As you somersault,

• Smack the ground with your left hand
• Keep your chin tucked and your head off the ground
• Land on the left side of your body
• Raise your right hand to protect your face, and
• Exhale.

All at once. And take care to keep your slapping hand at 45º and to not cross your legs.

Ideally, the ground should touch your right arm, right shoulder, and draw a line down your body to your left foot. Opinions differ about your right foot; some say you should land with it flat and your knee bent. Others say you should land on the inside edge of your foot with your leg extended.

Traditionally, all breakfalls are done with a huge slap of the hand. This is, I’ve heard it told, for one of three reasons.

1. To spread the impact out over a larger area.
2. To lessen the energy of the throw by converting some of the energy to sound.
3. To create upward momentum on your body. Pushing your arm downward creates an equal and opposite reaction, pushing your body upward, away from the ground.

These reasons are utter nonsense. First, if the goal is to spread the impact out, there is no reason to slap rather than just lay the hand down. Second, the energy converted is miniscule in comparison to a 100 kg man falling from 1 m. If it weren’t, every time I yelled, I’d knock myself off my feet. Third, the momentum created is miniscule in comparison to a 100 kg man falling from 1 m; if it weren’t, every time I waved hello, I’d knock myself off my feet.

All that said, and superstitions aside, there is one very good reason to slap the ground: it stops you from sticking your hand out to arrest your fall. Most people do so out of reflex, but bracing for a fall leads to broken wrists.

Good breakfalls have other benefits. Slapping the ground at 45º keeps your shoulder at a position where falling hurts less. Learning to uncross your legs lets you keep screwing. And, most importantly, maintaining your head off the ground keeps you alive.

Sideways:
This is the most commonly-used breakfall. It’s a bit tough to practice at speed, but it is very easy to execute when the pressure is on.
Start in the position you ended in after doing the forward rolling breakfall: head up, left arm down and at 45º, resting on the left side of your torso, legs apart, with the right hand up to protect the face.

1. Roll back onto your shoulders and lift your hips and legs off the ground
2. Rotate on your shoulders
3. Fall on your right side, slapping the ground, and landing all at once. Repeat.

When you are being thrown, your face-protecting hand will likely be trapped. Do try, though, to pull it into position. Just as soon as you are thrown, your opponent will try to break that arm. Keeping it bent protects you.

Backward
The back breakfalls are the easiest. To practice, squat a little, roll on your back, and smack the ground with both hands at 45º from the body. It is very important that you keep your head off the ground.

For good form, cross your feet a bit to protect yourself from kicks to the love nuggets and rise back up with your hands ready to fight.

Common elements
No matter how you fall, keep the following things in mind:

• Don’t let your head hit the ground
• Don’t reach for the ground. It’s coming fast enough.
• Maintain a firm but pliable body, not too stiff, not too soft
• Exhale on impact—I scream all the way down, because it is funny, but also ensures that I breathe
• Be prepared to breakfall for two. Your opponent may be coming down on top of you.